Whats the point of marriage when it becomes sex-less eventually anyways? As Muslims we must conceal our sins unless it will cause harm to them if you do not tell them. Therefore, none of us should expect someone else to be perfect. Thats very importent. Until now I still ask for forgiveness. Zin () or zina ( or ) is an Islamic legal term referring to unlawful sexual intercourse. Husband Committed Zina: I Don't Want to Forgive Him! Because you'll know you did the best you could with the information you have and what your heart is telling you. Inshallah all will work out and this unfortunate event in your life will resolve in the best way, Ameen. No matter what you decide, true happiness is with Allah and being honest in your Tawbah. I won't pronounce here since I really don't know the answer. Her real problem is with ALLAH and her SIN & DISOBEYDIANCE, Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said, after the stoning of al-Aslami: Avoid this filth that Allah has forbidden, and whoever falls into it, let him conceal himself with the concealment of Allah, may He be glorified and exalted. Hence some of the fuqaha said that he should Brother, your meanings are very off balanced. As for the child, he is to be named after your husband, and that is not cancelled out unless he rejects, because the basic principle is that the child belongs to the marital bed, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). responsible for that that, and if she is as her husband says she is, then Questions after committing Zina - Islamweb - Fatwas - We had 2/3 meetings but could not resolve our issue and later mutually divorced (First Talak) by signing on paper in presence of her few friends and my cousin and colleague. Assalam o Alikum, Muslim brothers and sisters. By just saying humans are bound to make errors you can't escape . They both are going to get married so her boyfriend due to the moment of heat fingered her astagfiruallh she has regret about it . So please do not despair. Should a Wife Who Has Done Tawbah From Zina Inform Her - IslamQA Yes sister, I miss islam.com and my fellows here as well. Should I tell my future husband that am not a virgin? Agree with comment above. Alhamdulillah im glad to see you! Please turn to him now, it will be a huge weight off your shoulders to leave this sin for Him and He will surely reward you if you do so. Posted by inam April 22, 2012 Printer-friendly I'm married and committed a sin of adultery. I shared my body measurements with a guy online. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. But sister, this is only shaitan whispering to you. My wife filed for civil divorce and we are now divorced; is it also khula? The one who has committed zina (fornication or adultery) has to repent, because zina is one of the major sins which are forbidden in Islam and for which a stern warning is issued to the one who does them. Do your best while remembering that only Allah can guide. Should a son always be near his elderly parents, or are there exceptions? As you say Allah love mercy that means you keep allowing your wife to have sex with other man ? And He has given you the greatest blessing that He has bestowed upon mankind, the blessing of Islam. The best thing you can do is make tawbah and move forward with sincere ibadah and duty to your husband. i feel sorry for your husband that he met a person like you. After few times I realizes it is a big sin. Jinn possession has caused my wife to commit adultery. My husband is a mental health patient who has committed Zina many times without any feeling of remorse or guilt. There follows a list of some of them: 2 Regretting what has happened in the past. Turn to Allah. But the problem is every time you both have an argumentgues what's going to come up in your mind? If a potential committed zina before , will they tell me - Reddit 2 days of "and the lord heard me - i have my answers" || nsppd || 6th july 2023 Constantly make tawbah and avoid any contact with your sister in law. You changed (AlhamduLillah). What is Implied Consent in New York? - Foley Griffin, LLP Cut off all communication with this woman. Wallah I know this must be a very hard time for you! I said to my wife after a doubt occurred to me: If you committed zina then you are divorced, and I repeated these words several times on different occasions. Unfortunately, I don't feel enough time has passed since her "betrayal," for you to know for a fact that she has indeed abstained. then divorce does not take place. Then you could have considererd whether someone capable of this thing in the first place can ever really be trusted again. I am a human beign and I can make mistakes. So tomorrow if some one argues in the court that my sin is nothing in front of mercy of Allah and Allah forgives us then who are you not to forgive? As-salmu alaykum wa-rahmatullhi wa-baraktuh. By Whose command do you live? I wont bother reading on this question and replying again it's going to be a long useless loop. Repent means accept the punishment to purify ? Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. or REPENT (TAWBAH) ? If a person regrets a bad dua they made for someone, is the dua still valid? Getting punishment in this life before judgment day comes under a different topic. All parties for the most part were in difficult situations. I got hedayah from Allah and started following Islamic rules and regulations after my marriage. I have very lately understood the hadith regarding the punishment of stone to death and thus deleted my every comment which were in favour of the punishment of stone to death. I found true love after Nikah with another. Your repentance is regret and righteousness and doing good deeds. And find yourself a Muslim wife. Of course, some matters, like mahr and providing for a wife should never be done with resentment. Home Hanafi Fiqh Askimam.org I have committed zina with my sister in law. And no role model to their kids if they decide to have some. New York's implied consent laws state any licensed drivers must submit to a breath, blood, urine, or saliva test to figure out the amount of alcohol or drugs in the driver's body. So she decided to come back after the man went back to his wife. I place you in the protection of Allaah and His Messenger, When leaving for umrah from south africa and going to makkah first, Can to read the salaatul ihraam in south africa and wear a kurta, socks and shoes etc. I agree with brother Ahmed above. Her problem is NOT with her husband. and she can go zina with as many men as she wishes ?? Maybe you should actually talk to your wife about how you do care for her, possibly still love her and most importantly what you need as a wife. I fear if I tell my wife she will never trust me again. You do the same to learn what Tawbah repenting is. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". Huqooq el Ibad, Yes .. Story of Yousef (SA) Yes but its a different matter here. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: When an adulterer commits illegal sexual intercourse, then he is not a believer at the time he is doing it, and when a drinker of an alcoholic liquor drinks it, then he is not a believer at the time of drinking it, and when a thief steals, then he is not a believer at the time of stealing, and when a robber robs, and the people look at him, then he is not a believer at the time of doing robbery. (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, no. Then compare it to your definition Tawbah / repentance is Not just a verbal thing. What if our children will have genetic abnormalities? They will never confess the whole truth. Whose provision do you eat from? Dua I consider myself very objective and I still feel like this woman deserves a chance if she is sincere, after some time has passed. They are not foreign creatures with sinister hearts and opaque intentions. It contradicts the sunnah, but almost everyone has known or knows someone who is sexually active with someone they are not married to. cannot be known whether it is true or false is a serious mistake, because it What to for tauba? It would be too difficult emotionally, and I would not be able to trust her in the future. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. Allah wont be proud of you for lying ask Allah for help! So turn to Him and beg Him to forgive you. Sister, I can hear your regret, your remorse, fear as well as your deep sadness in your question. Yes abusive husbands deserves divorce and Zani women for whom Shariah has death penalty deserves forgiveness. If notthen you are an adult and can decide what you want and what you cannot tolerate. And now I read this. There is no war between men and women, brother. If Allah can give us all chance after chance after chance throughout our lives, maybe for the sake of Allah give her a single chance. Sotalk to her. Is it best if I tell my husband or not? They could end up being the most humble, loving, appreciative spouse thereafter. End quote from Majmoo' al-Fataawa, 32/141 Secondly: This issue on which divorce has been made dependent if this Quraan, do what it orders you to do and keep away from what it forbids), before the torment comes on you suddenly while you perceive not!, [al-Zumar 39:53-54 interpretation of the meaning]. Messenger of Allah said, "The superiority of the learned over the devout worshipper is like my superiority over the most inferior amongst you (in good deeds)." If the owner of the bed wants to deny the child by engaging in liaan then he may do that before the shari judge. Can a anaf Resident Pray Behind a Shfie Traveller? Red the verses from Quran that's I've posted from Surat al Furqan. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". I Committed Zina; I Feel Dirty and Depressed | About Islam It didn't work, and I now have extreme guilt. Narrated by al-Bayhaqi and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, no. If you decide to reunite with your divorced wife, you have an obligation of not using her infractions against her. ", And verily, I am indeed forgiving to him who repents, believes (in My Oneness, and associates none in worship with Me) and does righteous good deeds, and then remains constant in doing them (till his death) - (Surat Ta-Ha 20:82), ()And those who invoke not any other ilaah (god) along with Allaah, nor kill such person as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse ,and whoever does this shall receive the punishment. Please do remember me in your prayers and may Allah showers his blessings onto you and your family. This guy acted really weird and told me not to worry that he will convince my wife to reconsider our divorce and relationship. Have I lost all my good deeds? She did not have to confess the sin to her husband. I am really confused that as we are already in our divorce period, should I forgive her or see out the divorce process. I wish to leave my cheating husband and take the children with me. She was never on her deen, she only wore the hijab to keep her husband off her back while she could cover up the cheating, and on top she has no shame by making her secret lover get her stuff. After divorce we had no contact but suddenly now she wants to come back to me but confessed that she has committed zina with her close married male friend because of depression during her iddat period. ", "I cannot trust her from my heart, and am not ready to forget everything and start fresh again as I think she would have never wanted to come back to me if her friend did not patch up with his wife.". Should I tell my husband? so it gud to treat our sisters nice & well by giving them sound advise rather than harsh words, Hadeeth The child is for the (owner of the) bed and the fornicator gets nothing, Islamic Scholars Commitee agreed on : If a married woman commits zina and becomes pregnant, then the child belongs to the (owner of the) bed (i.e. Its either a lanugage barrier or your frustration and quick judgement of the context of what i've written. . Is reading fiction or books about sinful themes haram? That is a sign of your Imaan, Allah consciousness of accountability in the court of Allah Taala. I am ashamed and finding it very difficult to live with it. Committed Zina with Her before Conducting Islamic Marriage But instead he was involved in zinna with my wife and was planning to divorce his wife. Views : But even if I forgive her, I don't think I can ever forget this betrayal as I don't deserve any of this. Now that things have disclosed, Allah has made him uncovered, he asks for my forgiveness. May Allah forgive all of our sins however large or small, all Muslims who have come and gone and who are yet to come. My husband watches my mother sleep but says its magic! He asked me if I had been with anyone else, so I told him the truth. other way. Subdue your ego, and ask Allah for success. Answered by:Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Also, like some commenters above said, marry a new wife and make sure you go for someone pious this time, just like Rasullah (saw) commanded the believers. Can i do one sunna my entire life for Allah to exept my tauba. Laws of Cheating Financially assisting a person who does not perform salaah and committed Most of us are just weak and in reality desirous of being loved. Sexual attraction is normal and very common place. Men seem to look down on a woman who had or has a "boyfriend", but Muslim men who have several "women" are not considered untouchable. i have made a massive mistake ive been with my partner 4 years she is a revert, we had done our Nikah over a year ago. Starting the Prompt Design Site: A New Home in our Stack Exchange Neighborhood. She is coming back as other person after enjoying sex with her betrayed her .Again if that person changes his mind and come back to her , is it not possible she again will restart doing Zina despite married to husband ? calculation of standard deviation of the mean changes from the p-value or z-value of the Wilcoxon test. I truely hope he forgives u and u both stay happy togthr inshAllah. I really want this job, but things have been delayed since I prayed Istikhara. You did not state what your conduct or day to day habits were before you decided to more closely follow the Sunnah. Because I Committed Zina in the Past, Will I Ever Get Married to a Good Muslim Man? "Now my wife also wants to come back to me and is asking for my forgiveness. I was not feeling comfortable handing over my wife's luggage to her friend so my cousin called my wife and she verified that my wife had sent him to take her belongings from my home after our divorce. It would be ideal not to disclose your past activities with your wife to be. Allah has ordained a way for those women (i.e. Answer Thank you for your question. May Allah forgive me if my advice is wrong, I am not a scholar and accept all errors on my part for shortcomings therein. Does he have the right to know about my past if he asks about it? Once they are divorced it's over and I suppose there will be no knowing. Adultery only happens when we fail to exercise caution in our actions, when we let the seeds of lust get planted. Please read these articles on tawbah: Repent is tawbah. rev2023.7.7.43526. Is It My Duty to Distance Myself From My Friend Who Committed Zina Islam is a way of life & guidance too. I was and I am just a student of my religion and I answered questions according to my knowledge and understanding and my words are not last as I am no scholar, infact no one here is a scholar and thus these kind of questions should be asked by an Islamic scholar only because here we answer as far as what we understood so far and it might not be correct so the questioner may not get the correct answer so please ask an scholar. If a woman commits zina, then she is forced to marry a chaste man, is And when her secret relationship breaks down she runs back to the brother because she knows he is vulnerable. That would only prove itself over a period of time. Your brother who wishes the best for you. To marry and if you are not able to marry, then you should fast; the Prophet said: " O young people, whoever is able to marry should marry as it helps him lower his gaze and protect his private parts (from committing illegal sexual intercourse), and whoever is not able to marry, he should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual desires. If he does not want to engage in Do not fight Allah's decree. Ofcourse not. On the other hand, she has asked for forgiveness and promised to lead an Islamic life from now on. Allah loves forgiveness and having Mercy on another. Now my parents are looking for a man for me to get married with. I know it is easier said then done. Can I divorce my husband without a valid reason? Why should I prove to you Allah forgives the sins? ~inam Like this: Loading. But I think you should tell him. It doesn't really matter to me. It seems like some one has plundered your safe vault and more worse is that the trust has been broken. Whoever has done any of them, let him conceal himself with the concealment of Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted." You stated that you committed some very serious sins in the past. why would i even read/believe something that has any doubts ? admits it, she will be exposing herself, and if she keep quiet, she will be In answer to your question, no you should not tell your husband. I would suggest you to have faith I. Because I Committed Zina in the Past, Will I Ever Get - SeekersGuidance Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. She reacted. He (swt) turns the sin into a good deed. i have been stupid enough to commit zina not once but twice with a work collegue she is single not married. She is dirty leave her. Whenever it is proven that a person has committed Zina (fornication or adultery), then imposing the Hadd (corporal punishment prescribed by Islamic Law) on him becomes compulsory as legislated in the Sharee'ah. Its been so long! Yeah I have been forgiven by someone but that was over something small. Ameen, I hope same advice is given to women as well when men cheat on them. Then Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said: Verily (for the scholars) Allah and His angels, the dwellers of the Heavens and of the Earth, even an ant in its hole and fish (in the depth of water) invoke blessings on one who teaches people goodness. Performing the prayer of repentance. Are my stepsisters feelings and actions justified? These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. What is wrong with you ? Her reasons for wanting to come back just seem too suspicious. No one is going to "be Muslim" at the same level as their best friend, sibling or spouse. Please tell me what should I do now? -i didnt say that. And make a promise or agreement to follow the Sunnah in that regard for starters. My cousin raped me and forced me to sign a marriage document. Other reasons could be: risk of STDs The Prophet (sws) said: "Avoid these filthy things that Allaah has forbidden. It is a sin to despair in the mercy of Allah swt. SubhanAllah. I really love her madly I am not able to forget her, I am feeling very guilty about what I have done with her (zina), I repented to Allah many, I would like to know the story of a pious man who commited zina. Amazing. Should I Tell My Suitor about the Fornication in My Past? - SeekersGuidance Anti Islamic Comittee ? And that has his own interpitations of the Quranic verses.. and that has his own beliefs of when Allah will forgivee or not as you mentioned earlier (I believeetc) In my experience of peer counseling, so many times I have had to remind husbands that although their wife may be obligated to be available sexually, the wife is not compelled to be enthusiastic or to enjoy what it expected of her. I dont want a friend who negatively influences me, I was told to change my babys name, Sajdaa, Cant sleep at night because of unhappiness and stress. Again, not saying I would personally take her back. I commited zina and repent sincerly. Her plan A failed yhats why she came back otherwise she would have continued with her friend. Imaan is the strongest support for a believer. Patients denied take-home doses at packed Brooklyn methadone clinic Does Islam allow this? Plus. The only event in which you must tell him is if you have an infection resulting from zina.May Allah swt protect you from that. there are no witnesses cannot be known except from her, so she is Don't advice him to give her a chance, she is bad for him. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. You learnt something new. The point is we never know when Allah wil take our soul. What do you mean he is on the path to zina? Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. If Allah has concealed the sin, this is through His Mercy on you. If you physically change your appearance on earth (eg.plastic surgery) will it still remain in place when (if) you get to heaven? She made tawbah and feels terrible about it. Have I lost all my good deeds? And follow the best of that which is sent down to you from your Lord (i.e. Pray regularly and wear hijab, and to obey Him and repent. At one point she left for her parents house. Its not over til the Trumpet is Blown Sin and Repentance in Islam, The Sin of Fornication and Adultery Part 1, The Sin of Adultery and Fornication Part 2, The Sin of Adultery and Fornication Part 3, My husband and his previous partner recited Kalma Nikah to remove Zina!, I want to reconcile with my wife, who claims her parents blackmailed her. makes divorce conditional upon some matter that is unknown, then he should Is an Entry Fee at a Charity Event Considered Charity? Making divorce conditional upon some unknown matter which husband. If not, then won't he find out on the nuptial night? Sure, when your spouse commits a terrible sin such as the above one can decide to walk away and not forgive. Masha Allah brother this is what I was trying to say but couldn't pit it in better words than you. No one is perfect. Husband . He ended our relationship. Should I let my future partner know about a previous relationship? Also keep in mind that indirectly you may have some responsibility for her turning to another man. This was the first and only time I have ever done absolutely anything and I instantly regretted it because I had been waiting for marriage. Questions about Blood Between People on judgmentday ? Those are the words of Allah. Standing up to abuse vs leaving matters to Allah when someone uses violence on you and your parents, to intimidate and coerce? And again not all action has the same consequence. Firstly: The verse (interpretation of the meaning) "The adulterer marries not but an adulteress." [an-Noor 24:3] does not mean that the fornicator or adulterer cannot marry anybody but a fornicatress or an adulteress, or that the fornicatress or adulteress cannot marry anybody but a fornicator or adulterer. I cant see my cousin marrying anyone elseshould I fight for this? what appears to be the case: so long as she denies that she fell into zina, Take the High Road. I love this. Either way, it would have been a lot more positive if she had wanted to come back while this man was still available to her - then you would have known she actually wanted you. What must I do? However, you are making the woman out to be some evil mastermind, and I doubt that is the case. Mental health professionals also acknowledge that men and women seek love and affection when they are going through emotional turmoil. For you to say this woman's very value is 0 because of a mistake she made, is like saying that Allah made a mistake in creating her. .But forgiveness will result in disturbance/hate then better not to forgive and divorce. " [Muslim] http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/tawbah-in-islam/its-not-over-til-the-trumpets-blown-tawbah-and-repentance/ what are some other acts one can do on behalf of his deceased parent? The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". Yet it is said that Allah Forgives and likes the one who forgives. So many opinions in this thread. It is obvious that you are very sorry and do want to repent. It is not recommended that you tell your husband. In above case there is no point in giving one more chance as how it looks . We should not make any decisions in haste. You might feel pangs of longing for her in the beginning but in the long term, you will be much better off. My Istikhara result was ambiguousany thoughts? She will feel your love and value you more than ever. [Al-Tirmidhi 3118], The Mercy of Allah in Regard to Forgiveness, "O son of Adam, as long as you call upon Me and put your hope in Me, I have forgiven you for what you have done and I do not mind. Any how. The same applies if the wife commits zina: the husband has no right to keep her in that case; rather he should leave her, otherwise he will be a cuckold (duyooth). Divine remembrance is the highest reward. Believer! If so then you will come in a category of Cuckold . A Brooklyn methadone clinic morphed into a potential coronavirus petri dish as dozens of patients spent hours jammed inside in a packed hallway waiting for their doses, according to photos and . To feel such regret for past conduct as to change one's mind regarding it:repented of intemperate behavior.3. Jazakallah. Allaah has prescribed in such cases the procedure of liaan, if 663. Mental Illness. - Really .. That is by far the lowest blow. Are there ethnically non-Chinese members of the CCP right now? And how is she telling a non mehram to get her stuff like is Islam a joke in this household. But I fear that even if I give her a chance, this topic or issue may arise in my mind later and I may not feel attraction towards her both physically and mentally. Dont let that happen to. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. you can to a scholar for reason of seeking advice., Allah will forgive your sins, and it will be like you never committed them. ask yourself, Whose dominion do you live under? I understand that you feel you want to off load the secret you are carrying, you feel that if you tell your husband you will be more at ease. Yep. In other words, cheating in Islam can mean betrayal. Punishment for Zina - Islamweb - Fatwas - When a virgin man commits Zina with a virgin woman, they should receive one hundred lashes and be exiled for a year. My friend is on the path of zina. How should I stop him from - Reddit You could let her back in now, but as I said, it would be a risk. It only takes a minute to sign up. Log in, Join our e-mail list for regular site news and updates, All Rights Reserved for Islam Q&A 1997-2023. be told to divorce her properly. will not hate you and I will not enter it, and he does not know if she is So please dont let this mistake prevent you from moving forward and from turning to Allah. I leave it with the brother in question to make the decision based on his wisdom and understanding of his wife. If they are married/previously married, they shall receive a hundred lashes and be stoned to death.